Ragnhild wore the fine dress, and was proud of the permanent she had
Gotten before many of the other girls. She felt so nice. She was 12 years old. It was July,
And she had just returned home after three years in Bangladesh. The parents had been missionaries there, and there had been three happy years for her and her sister.

Now I waited for a school start with her old class in a few days. Ragnhild was delighted. Then came the comment. Unexpected and sharp: "Do you have a skeleton bike or..."
Ragnhild didn't feel nice anymore. The joy and confidence disappeared.
The comment was the beginning of years of bullying.

Ragnhild sits at his couch and tells her with a steady voice. She is one of Norway's most prolific law singers with her husband, Arvid Pettersen. She has experienced a lot in her life. And she'd like to talk about forgiveness.

Serious bullying

The start of the school was not as she imagined and hoped. Her former classmates were not safe friends anymore. They represented a sinister uncertainty. Who says something today, who is the heavens with the eyes and laughs first, who gives the trouser water or does something else hurts, like closing her in the boy's Doen. Classmates found a lot to bully Ragnhild for. Ragnhild started to eat lots to put on, and then it was and wrong. She didn't have the right clothes. She hadn't followed the developments the other had had while she was in Bangladesh. Ragnhild was subjected to gross psychological and physical bullying for several years. She was subjected to a serious episode of violence: it was finally coming snow, and Ragnhild was so happy. She hadn't seen snow in three years. When the others started playing in the snow she was on the ground, and many fired her and stabbed her with a stick. The rest stood and cheer on them. One of the boys kicked her right in the neck. Ragnhild was bruised with many bruises, and she had received a whiplash injury in her neck that she today was struggling a lot with.
-It's the psychic bullying that has set the most tracks. The physical was very painful there and then, but the psychic has given the greatest wounds. It was so painful to always be banned. I was never invited in birthdays, I was always elected last. I hid in the bushes at recess, or ran home to mommy.

Forgiveness and wounds

Ragnhild has wounds. Wounds that she works on now. But forgiveness, can you talk about it in such serious matters? Ragnhild can.
"I have forgiven those who bullied me," she says with a steady voice. – It was not difficult. I'm not angry with them. I felt sorry for some of them. It's often a reason for children to be bullied. 10 years after Ragnhild went out of the youth school there was a reunion with all the girls in the class. It was a special night. All of them brought patches they had written during school hours. Eventually, there were several who would not read up on their patches. For What stood there was not nice. It was about Ragnhild. The night ended with them burning all the patches. During the evening, the girls who had bullied Ragnhild asked for forgiveness. -The fact that it has not been difficult for me to forgive, hangs enough with the personality type, and with my parents, who have always set forgiveness aloud.
Three years ago, Ragnhild met the wall. She had a full job, was newly married and had entered the praise service. She was burnt out and depressed. "I had to stop working, and I could do very little. The depression is milder now, it helps to get put word on things, but I still have to rest every day. That is to say, sleep, smiles Ragnhild. She also struggles with aftereffects after the whiplash injury in the neck. She has chronic headaches. – There is one question I have asked myself in recent years: Why am I still in this mud when I have forgiven? She even answers her question: – Even if one has forgiven, then one must go to the bottom, cleansing the wounds. The wounds will eventually become scars that do not disappear. But scars can be pretty. My wounds are not healed yet, but I am in process. It is important to have someone to talk to in such processes. Someone who is educated or has good experience. I still see myself as the little, ugly duckling even others don't do it anymore. I have to learn to see me as I am. I have to get to know myself.

-I've tried a little bit of work, but then I got a panic attack, says Ragnhild honestly. But in the service, when I do the law, then I am not afraid or uncertain. I hope to get into work again, but the wounds are not healed yet. But in the service, I feel completely healthy. It is not any service that Ragnhild speaks of: – I have about 120-130 missions a year, mostly with Arvid, but also alone, in 5-6 different countries and Norway. In 2014, the debut album, "Great Is Your faithfulness," which I gave out together with Arvid. It has already sold in 3500 copies. I have the choir on two of Arvid's albums, and also corer for other artists in the studio. Ragnhild sings and rests and rays. And working with painful, deep wounds.

Forgiveness in everyday life

Ragnhild grew up in a home where forgiveness was part of everyday life. "So I will also live," says Ragnhild. – In a family there are different views on things and different challenges. I had a math. It happened that it ended with bickering when dad was going to help me with my homework. Sometimes I ran from the math books in frustration and up in my room and slammed the door. Then daddy always came up after a while. We chatted. Sometimes we had to ask each other for forgiveness. If it were difficult, we asked God for help, says Ragnhild. "Mom and Dad were concerned that they would never" let the Sun go down over their wrath. " That setting I have inherited. If I've been arguing with my daughter, I want to be up. As we did in my childhood home.
When I ask if Ragnhild has sometimes had to forgive herself, she responds to an unreservedly "yes." – I must continually forgive myself for the thoughts I have about myself. For that I do not see myself as good. For all the painful I think when I see myself in the mirror a few days, and all I want to change.

Jesus speaks a lot about forgiveness in the Bible. I wonder if
Ragnhild has some thoughts on this. The answer comes thoughtfully, and with occasional pauses. "We live in a world where we must lift up the good. Forgiving is not always easy. We must not forgive just to forgive. It must come from the heart. We must know of a peace, that it is good to forgive. If we don't make it, we need to find someone to talk to that can help us.